20 lbs
I stepped on the scale for the first time since January in Thailand. The result?
I have gained over 20 lbs since the beginning of this trip and this is the heaviest I have ever weighed in my life.
So what did I do after walking away from the scale? I thanked my Jesus.
I thanked Him for the two working arms and legs I have, my two seeing eyes, my healthy heart, my skin, etc.
You'd be surprised at how quickly your whole being can change when you thank Jesus for things instead of complaining.
Really, you would think that after six months of no make-up, wearing nothing but big t-shirts and leggings, having my hair always up in a bun because I don't know what else to do with it and gaining 20 lbs would make me feel not pretty at all.
WRONG.
I have never felt more beautiful in my life.
I'm not kidding.
I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE BEAUTIFUL IN MY LIFE.
How? That doesn't make any sense by the world's standards.
I have placed my worth in my Father's hands. That's how.
My beauty comes from the most beautiful, sovereign Lord.
No pretty dress, no fit body, no beautiful skin, no gorgeous hair can compare with that beauty.
The proof of this statement? I have been called beautiful, pretty, and cute more times on this trip than before this trip.
People are seeing Jesus in me, it has nothing to do with my outer appearance. They are so completely drawn to it and they don't even realize it.
Don't get me wrong, it's ok to want to wear a cute outfit, to curl our hair, to wear make-up, we are women for crying out loud. I myself am getting my body back in shape by eating healthier and exercising when I get home, and wearing jeans and actual tops, and sometimes I will wear make-up but I WILL NOT PLACE MY WORTH AND MY BEAUTY IN THOSE THINGS.
It's so tiring to do that. You are never skinny enough, your hair is never long enough, your skin is never clear enough, it's never enough. It's an exhausting cycle.
But Jesus is enough. He is more than enough. I have never beheld anything more beautiful than Jesus' love and that's inside of me. It shines right through me.
I see myself the way Jesus sees me.
